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I’m a nice person. I am. But …


I love the demotivators by Despair, Inc. as much as I hate the treacly posters they’re spoofing. And I laughed inappropriately when someone told me about this baby t-shirt from T-Shirt Hell:


So I was delighted to discover the someecards site via the Globe and Mail. The sentiments range from hilariously odd to blackly humourous to downright mean.


There’s a category for the “Courtesy Hello,” including sentiments such as “Let’s catch up by asking mutual friends about each other” and “I considered calling you recently.”

“Encouragement” (and those quotation marks are definitely scare quotes) includes “Someday I may add you as a Facebook friend” and “There’s no shame in unemployment if you stay indoors.”

“Flirting” includes one many women can relate to: “One of my fantasies is that you stop staring at my tits,” and this one that many men I know wish they’d received early on in a relationship:


There’s head-scratchers like “My plan is to travel the world in a panda suit.” And the one I know people would have been tempted to send me at times: “Get well soon because your cough is fucking disgusting.”

Now to figure out who I can send these ones to: It’s time to stop dressing yourself” and “Congratulations on your new job that you probably won’t like any better.”